Lucy: A Look Back on What Could’ve Been
This is not a review. At the end you will know no more about whether Lucy was good or bad than you did going in. This is me, after five days of stewing, countless Grantland articles and podcasts, and a few “more reputable” sources such as the New York Times about this movie—the ones of […]
The Emmys and the Curiously Competent Case of the Nominally Not-so-terrible Nominations
Northern Virginia traffic and ten hour work days strike again. I have had this article on the to-do pile since they released the nominations. I promised myself this time though I would get this piece out before it was too late. I missed the Oscars this year because of such nonsense. So I am writing […]
Spoil-Free Review: Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
I’ve always had a hard time getting really into movies where you know the outcome. Like watching Soylent Green after 1992 (a whole year before my birth and a decade and a half before I actually saw the film). Like being the guy who waited more than a week to see The Village. Or like […]
Thoughts on Football by a Newly Baptized American
The arrogance of America is at its height when it has the nerve to literally steal the name of the world’s most popular thing. So I will be using the word soccer once but only so that I can tell you that it will be referred to as international football forever and always. Because they […]
Spoil-Free Review: Snowpiercer
So I finally saw Snowpiercer, a week after its limited US release date and a year after its Korean release. You can blame this bullshit on the Weinstein Company’s attempt to cut 20 minutes of the film (having seen this movie I’m not exactly sure what 20 minutes they tried to remove but I’ve been […]
We all Misunderstand the “Nice Guy” and its Ruining America
The “nice guy” has been gaining a great deal of attention recently. A slew of horrific acts by individuals and our government as well some less horrific events have led to the idea being thrown around a lot. The problem with that is that we are all getting the “nice guy” wrong and it’s ruining […]
Your Summer Movie Roundup (2 Months Late)
The summer movie preview 2014 edition has arrived–now sit down, contain your excitement you’re a grown ass person. Here it is, everything you need to know about the important movies coming out (some that have already come out) this summer. It’s two and a half months late because why the fuck not right? We’re already […]
The FCC Can Go Fuck Themselves
Let’s forget for a second that the FCC is at the head of the charge to end net neutrality. Let’s forget that net neutrality will not only be the end of the internet as we know it, it will be the end of fair business on the biggest medium for start-ups since they found out […]
Spoil-Free Review: Edge of Tomorrow
What is there to say about Edge of Tomorrow that you haven’t already heard? Not much to be honest. The praise has been pretty loud across the board. Most likely, no doubt, because the hype for this movie—or lack thereof—was less that dreary. I was one of the biggest offender, liking neither Tom Cruise nor […]
Spoil-Free Review: 22 Jump Street
22 Jump Street is the meta comedy of the year. With as many jokes the movie makes about how terrible the sequel normally is it’s impressive how much of a success this follow up comedy is. In fact I would venture to say, better than the first. The question always is how do you make […]
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