The Oscars 2016
I’m sure a lot of you have clicked on this article hoping that the angry nigga would be getting angry about the all-white nominees this year. I’m sorry to disappoint but that’s not what this article is about, it’s about pretending like I’m Roger Ebert reincarnate and talking about the last awards for anything worth […]
Spoil-Free Reviews: The Force Awakens
I finally saw Star Wars: The Force Awakens; I waited to see it with my family because I can’t say I really care about Star Wars and there was just other movies I’d rather spend my $10 on. And during holiday time, the family pays for tickets. If you’re reading this, it’s basically a 90% […]
Spoil-Free Reviews: The Hateful Eight
So I settled down in AFI Silver’s almost too hard and too authentic 1920’s era movie house seats. Some bald guy named Todd or Jeff or something like that steps out to the podium on the stage to tell everyone about the bar that will be open during intermission. And I being to prepare myself […]
Your Summer Movie Roundup (Kinda On Time)
I meant to get this out at the beginning of May… but then I forgot that I wanted to write it. So here we are slightly more on time than last year. Your 2015 summer movie round up where I will tell you what to see and what not to see based on very little […]
Spoil-Free Reviews: Mad Max: Fury Road
Well it only seems right that I make my triumphant return with the equally triumphant return of an equally iconic pop culture icon. When I heard George Miller was bringing back the Mad Max series with a modern reboot it garnered much the same response the announcements of Jurassic World and Star Wars Force Awakens […]
The 2015 Oscars (Updated)
Tonight is the night. The 2015 Oscars have arrived and unlike any other award show they actually matter—my apologies Emmy voting board. Unlike the Grammys, the Oscars may not represent that actual “best of” but they are not laughably misinformed on the topic. Unlike the Tony’s you don’t have to live in NYC to actually […]
Spoil-Free Reviews: The Imitation Game
So it has finally arrived. Benedict Cumberbatch’s Oscar bait film of the year The Imitation Game has made its slow ass way to DC. I have finally seen it and I will tell you how good it really was. Admittedly I am a little biased when it comes to this movie, I’m obsessed with everything […]
Spoil-Free Review: Guardians of the Galaxy
“Well that shit just happened”. Basically those were my thoughts leaving Guardians of Galaxy. I expected greatness when I went to go see Marvel’s newest monster hit, if I hadn’t I wouldn’t have seen it at 9:45 on a Thursday in Imax 3D. But there was no part of me, not even the most optimistic […]
Lucy: A Look Back on What Could’ve Been
This is not a review. At the end you will know no more about whether Lucy was good or bad than you did going in. This is me, after five days of stewing, countless Grantland articles and podcasts, and a few “more reputable” sources such as the New York Times about this movie—the ones of […]
Spoil-Free Review: Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
I’ve always had a hard time getting really into movies where you know the outcome. Like watching Soylent Green after 1992 (a whole year before my birth and a decade and a half before I actually saw the film). Like being the guy who waited more than a week to see The Village. Or like […]
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