Dishonors of the Year

Worst Performance by an Artist

Sometimes your shit don’t stick and sometimes you’re these guys.

5. The Weeknd

(I will tell you this though: “Pretty” just barely missed my top 10 music videos list so kudos on this masterpiece)

Kiss Land was really bad.  And it hurt deep since his first three LP’s were so amazing.  So now it’s all about Toro Y Moi and Frank Ocean.

4. Snoop Lion

While he is not the least surprising addition to this list, the legend has seen quite a decline after converting to Rastafarianism.  As we have seen with pretty much everything, once you get religion your ability to create quality disappears.  But he and The Weeknd are the only ones on this list for whom I am pulling.

3. Will.i.am

Scream… and… Shout.

2. Tyga

And we have arrived at this year’s least surprising performance.  Not only did Hotel California suck but so did Rich Gang and Well Done 4.  But let’s be honest.  Did it ever even cross your mind that they wouldn’t?

1. French Montana

Nigga you should be worried.

He ruined the hook on one of my favorite tracks of the year and released the year’s worst album, so congratulations French– you are the bama of the week week week.

The Biggest Letdown:

You got my hopes up, if only for a second.

5. Wale- The Gifted

Fine, I give up.  Used to be my favorite rapper ye once were.  Now you release albums where the best track is quite literally the “Outro.”

4. So So Def’s Reunion/Return

Maybe I got unduly excited.  Maybe the years back when I had cornrows and the opposite of fashion sense and taste in music were stirring some strong feelings of nostalgia in me… maybe.  But then this shit was basically just a cookout.  Don’t tell me you’re reuniting then just get together and stuff your faces with comfort food. Don’t!

3. Black Star

Made a few appearances in 2012.  Said they were officially releasing an album in 2013.  That didn’t happen.  And to add some shit icing to the rude cake, Mos Def’s collab with Mannie Fresh, OMFGOD, didn’t happen either.  But, hey, at least Yasiin Bey officially announced his Madlib collab.

2. Jay-Z- Magna Carta Holy Grail

I’ll chalk this up to Boring New Parent Syndrome.  It’ll only take a decade for him to be an interesting person again after Blue Ivy wreaked havoc on his career.  Let’s hope HOVA turns this around as fast as he did Kingdom Come

1. You All

You all have disappointed me again.  Listen to the radio.  You know why they rotate the same five shitty songs one after another?  Because when they play a 6^th song or god forbid a good song, studies show you all lose your fucking minds.  Blogs, Soundcloud, and Bandcamp have made good, independent music more accessible than ever but you’re still lining the pockets of terrible, awful, no good, very bad (day) rappers.  There is absolutely no reason why the billboard chart should look the way it does but I lost my faith in humanity a long time ago.  So do I think you all will turn it around? Fuck.  No.

Worst Crew

Crews are back guys; well, I mean some of them are.

1. MMG

This was the best track on Self Made Vol. 3. Sit with that for a second.

Even their saving graces, Wale and Meek Mill, kinda sucked this year.  Maybe next year’s release of Album About Nothing will be worth the wait?

Honorable Mention: YMCMB/Bad Boys

I Really Just Don’t Care Anymore

For some reason, these things still manage to turn heads.  I am declaring publicly that while 2013 may have “Made You Look,” I didn’t sneeze in their direction and I will continue to give them the cold shoulder like an ex whose boyfriend looks better than you.

5. So So Def

You don’t get to rip my heart out like they did this year and get a look from me in the future. I’m done. Done I tell thee!

4. Battle Rap

It’s just so terrible now.  Please stop.  I’m begging you.

3. Drake

…I won’t even bother.

2. Eminem

No, I have never liked him but at least I respected his output.  Now I cannot say either.

1. The Grammys

Do we really care what the white aristocracy thinks of our music?  The answer is undoubtedly no.  It’s very clear that these white boys have never listened to rap music.  I mean they gave Drake the nod over Kendrick Lamar.  Not even forehead tattoo girl is that stupid.